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When you explain this to your friend, they immediately seem to shut down.

Clearly, the situation bothers them, but they refuse to address it. Don’t worry about it,” your friend says, but afterward, they’re closed off and seem to have a bad attitude.

They realize their behavior was unnecessary and atone for it.

Now, if that same friend was to have an adult temper tantrum, it might look like this: You can’t attend the birthday party because of a work obligation.

However, this may not be the smart move — doing so only encourages the tantrum-thrower to repeat this behavior whenever they aren’t happy with us.

They’re active on social media, and the other members of your social group can’t see a problem. Unable to contact them and afraid to lose the friendship, you finally decide to attend the birthday party — even if it means getting on the bad side of your boss and co-workers.

Keep in mind that this is only one example of how adult temper tantrums present.

While some people may be as passive-aggressive as the fictional friend, other adults might scream or throw pity parties when they don’t get their way.

Ultimately, an adult tantrum happens when someone can’t cope with negative emotions or calm themselves down.

According to psychoanalyst Roberta Satow, resilience and self-consoling are skills we learn in childhood.

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