No dating just sex

You've been together for years, raised kids and pets. As months drift into years, you realize: You're in a sexless marriage.Most married couples don't really know what to expect of a long-term relationship, says Diane Solee, MSW, a former marriage counselor who is the founder and director of You're not going to alcohol or cocaine treatment classes. Realizing all that, your job is to get out of the doldrums.You may have gotten into a rut." There's more at stake than simply boredom.If your partner is downright snarly about it, then you've got to stand your ground."This isn't the kind of thing in this day and age that people live with," she says.After all, sexual health is an important part of general health, Foley says."It's a very healthy thing for a partnership, there's no question about that," she tells Web MD.

Women complain to me -- I was ready to try these things, but I couldn't get my partner to do it." Often, the irritability and crankiness is actually masking anxiety and depression.

"It moves from the romantic and exciting to an attachment kind of loving, fondness," Foley tells Web MD.

"That gotta have it, gotta have it feeling is gone." Take stock of what you want, she advises.

a renewal of what this marriage is supposed to be." First step: Be realistic.

If you're looking for the swept-off-your feet sex of those first few years, dream on. Three years later, you'll have the same sizzle-less marriage you have right now.

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