Sex and dating after 40
Myth 6: It's normal for sex drive to drop as you age. "It's more likely for younger women to experience dips in libido," says Mc Grath, probably thanks to the hormonal upheavals of pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and dealing with young children.So if you have little or no desire for any kind of sex—even with George Clooney in your fantasies—see your doctor to be sure you don't have a medical condition, such as thyroid issues or certain cancers, says Dr. Beyond that, libido has a lot to do with how easily you can talk to your partner, and how bothered either of you is by how often you have sex.That said, if you're not feeling your best, go for a brisk, 30-minute walk with your partner rather than have another helping of pasta at dinner.And try to quash that inner monologue that's telling you men don't find less-than-perfect bodies sexy."Introduce a vibrator, experiment with self-stimulation, try new positions," suggests Mc Grath. Truth: This one persists for good reason—it makes sense that you'd be more worn-out now than you were 20 years ago.But it's more likely that "I'm too tired" is an excuse to avoid sex.
Whether you blame advertising portrayals of what's "sexy" (Victoria's Secret models, anyone? Truth: It's hard to redefine what the need for sex is after you're done baby-making.You might be bored or in a rut (and so might your man), so address it as soon as possible, advises Dr. Myth 8: If I've never had great orgasms, it's too late now. Sebastian, who admits, "I was never multi-orgasmic until after I had my second child." She attributes the change to a newfound sense of self-confidence, an ability to start askingfor what she wanted in bed. When I was growing up, I thought dating ceased at approximately 25 to 27 years of age.But while divorce rates have decreased, after a steady uptick, plenty of people re-enter the dating scene later in life.Here are the ways dating is different when you are 40 and over.Plus, you know your body better than you ever did in your 20s." All those years living in your skin has taught you what turns you on that you just didn't know two decades ago.And what's sexier to a man than a woman who knows what she wants in bed?Myth 7: Things that once turned you on no longer work because of your age.Truth: "This is more a fact of a long relationship than aging," says Mc Grath. Have a whole range of moves in your sexual arsenal because different things turn you on not just in different stages of life but on different days! Did you recently get a promotion at work and are feeling good about yourself? It's never too late to explore what turns you on, says Mc Grath.Being chronically out of energy can trigger a sex drive dip, so ask your doctor to check your thyroid levels and test you for anemia, says Mc Grath.And look at your lifestyle: Maybe you need to pare down your commitments and get better sleep by regulating your bedtime and removing un-sexy (and rest-interfering) TVs and computers from your bedroom.