The affair site
In this affair one party is available but the other isn't.The available partner believes that the other really will leave his or her spouse, given enough time and patience. " But that takes two equally available and committed people.Suddenly we found ourselves talking, feeling like we had known each other for years." The affair "just "happened," George added. Another one sounding a bit more "strategic" came from Jan, a 41-year-old lawyer.She told me that her affair was a "marriage stabilizer.His adamant refusal to go to couples therapy pushed her into acting on her anger.Rachel told me that a previous therapy had helped her recognize her collusion in becoming so subordinate in the marriage.
Of course, the public always enjoys being titillated with stories of the affairs of public figures, especially when hypocrisy is exposed.But she couldn't create a solution, nor figure out how to deal with her desire for revenge.She knew that "getting back" at her husband wasn't going to produce empowerment or healing, but nevertheless began a disastrous affair.With Tiger Woods back in the game after his "bad decisions" admission on ESPN, I couldn't help but recall George (not his real name), who had consulted me about how to deal with his new affair.Visions of Woods, Jessie James, Mark Sanford, John Edwards, and others came to mind, along with the similar stories of countless patients over the years.People make their choices, but I think a non-judgmental description of these six kinds of affairs (but with a tinge of humor) can help people deal with them with greater awareness and responsibility. John and Kim met through work and felt a strong physical attraction. The lust affair is often short-lived, and passion can slide downhill pretty fast as the excitement declines or under-riding emotional issues surface again.It can also fade if the lovers discover that there wasn't much connecting them beyond sex.It definitely felt like much more than just a friendship. Linda, who was my patient, said that neither of them wanted to disrupt or leave their primary relationship, or "mess it up." So, they chose to keep it platonic.That level of intimacy and intensity makes it an affair of the mind, if not the body; it's more than just a friendship.Suddenly they were in the midst of an affair that neither wanted to end.They thought they could keep it secret; that neither would make any demands on the other and it would be perfectly safe. Most "family" affairs are interwoven with family dysfunctions and buried resentments.